Ever wondered why humans press their face against people they care about? Why the lips are usually considered romantic or erotic, while the cheek or forehead are perfectly acceptable for children, friends strangers or even pets? And why are small pieces of silver wrapped chocolate called Hershey’s kisses? Of all the ways we could express our deepest love and devotion to our most cherished loved ones, humans gravitate toward the lips. Some linguists assign the importance of a word based on how many other names a society has for it. If this is true, kissing has quite the importance in at least western society. Kiss, smooch, snog, smooch, osculate, peck, buss, and sucking face are all terms we use for this behavior, but where did this idea come from, and is it common to all cultures?
Other interesting historical kisses include one involving Alexander the Great. According to the ancient Greek author Plutarch there was a dance off between two eunuchs for Alexander, and the winner, Bagoas, received a kiss for his prize. The Romans had at three different types of kisses, and had separate names for each. Both the Greeks and the Egyptians also wrote of kissing. In modern times, the kiss by a sailor after World War two in Times square is considered one of the most iconic images of a kiss since Gustav Klimt. It expresses the relief and exuberance of the end of the war, but is controversial today because it was really more of an assault by an inebriated stranger than a romantic shared kiss.
Kisses have not only been used for romance and greetings, they are also used for signs of devotion and loyalty. The Blarney stone is one famous example for good luck, or more specifically grants eloquence. That stone has likely been kissed over a million times over the centuries, and as unsanitary as it may seem, it is likely not the worst. It was common in the Catholic faith for many centuries for the faithful to kiss the dead bodies and body parts of deceased saints. Kissing rings has been a sign of loyalty, while kissing the ground is something typically carried out by individuals who have been travelling outside their countries for extended times, frequently in dangerous conditions. Kissing of feet is rare, mostly used in historical times to show deep humility or groveling for forgiveness. The common way of expressing kissing in love letters, has been XOXOXO. The X representing a kiss dates back to a time when most people were illiterate. When signing legal documents, people would simply mark their name as an X, and to show their sincerity to the document they were agreeing to, they would kiss the X in order to validate it. And of course, the last location for a kiss is purely (hopefully!) for insults, in English when you want to express deep rejection of another person, a common insult is to “kiss my ass!”
As far as who can exchange kisses how many times is largely a matter of culture. In many cultures, public displays of any kind are frowned upon. In much of South America, one kiss on the cheek is fine, whereas in parts of Europe a greeting can include as many as three kisses. In some western countries, a kiss on the hand can be considered gracious or chivalrous. Platonic male mouth kissing is fairly rare, but does happen in some cultures, one of the most famous being between Brezhnev and Honecker, featured on a famous mural in Berlin.
Our complex culture even has certain times and locations where kissing is approved such as under the mistletoe at Christmas. It is ironic that the enduring symbol for love and romance at Christmas time is actually a parasite! Another time/location based kissing event is traditionally at the stroke of midnight on New years. There is even one time when a kiss is absolutely expected, and must be witnessed by a group of people, and that is at the culmination of the wedding ceremony.
Kissing is one of the most intimate human behaviors, and will likely continue to be a deep part of human culture for many years to come. Those Hershey’s kisses? Not really anything to do with kissing, they are called that because the machine that spits them out sounded like it was making a kissing noise.